By Mufaro Namusi
As a young person growing up in this society, I have learnt something early and painfully: girls are rarely judged by what is done to them, but by how society thinks they should have behaved.
From the clothes we wear to the places we go, our choices are constantly examined, questioned and criticised.
Yet when harm occurs, that same society often looks away from the real problem.
Society is meant to be a community — a place where shared values and laws exist to protect people, especially children.
In reality, however, society frequently becomes a court of public opinion, where judgment replaces care and blame replaces justice.
For many girls, this failure is not theoretical. It is lived.
When Judgment Replaces Justice
In cases of sexual abuse or defilement, the first response is rarely compassion. Instead, questions are asked that quietly shift responsibility onto the girl: What was she wearing? Why was she there? Why didn’t she say no?
These questions are common in homes, churches, schools and even police stations.
This way of thinking is dangerous.
It suggests that abuse happens because a girl failed to behave “properly”, rather than because someone chose to harm her. Yet Zimbabwean law is clear: a child cannot consent to sexual activity.
Responsibility lies entirely with the perpetrator.
Despite this, many cases never reach court. Families are pressured to “resolve the matter” privately.
Some are told to protect family honour.
Others fear stigma or retaliation. As a result, girls learn that speaking out comes with consequences, while silence is rewarded.
Abuse Often Comes from Trusted Places
What society finds hardest to accept is that most abuse does not come from strangers. Media reports and court cases in Zimbabwe repeatedly show that perpetrators are often relatives, neighbours, caregivers or family friends — people children are taught to trust.
This reality makes society uncomfortable. It challenges the belief that danger exists only outside the home.
Instead of confronting this truth, communities often choose denial.
It becomes easier to question a child’s behaviour than to hold a respected adult accountable.
When this happens, society sends a clear message: protecting reputation matters more than protecting children.
When Childhood Is Taken Away
The consequences of this silence are devastating. Girls drop out of school after abuse. Some are forced into early motherhood.
Others grow up carrying trauma that affects their mental health, confidence and future opportunities.
Imagine a five-year-old child — still learning to read, still playing with toys — being forced into a life-altering experience she cannot understand.
This is not imagination; it is reality for too many girls. And when society responds with silence or excuses, it becomes complicit.
Silence does not heal children. It protects abusers.
Why Society Chooses Silence
Society’s failure is not accidental. It is rooted in fear, patriarchy and power. Families may depend economically on the abuser.
Communities may fear conflict.
Cultural norms may discourage questioning elders or men. Weak enforcement of laws allows perpetrators to believe they will never be punished.
All these factors create a system where abuse is hidden and repeated.
Girls are told to be patient, forgiving or quiet — lessons that teach them their pain is inconvenient.
Reclaiming Voice Is Not Disrespect
Speaking out about abuse is often labelled as disrespectful or rebellious. But silence is not respect. Silence is surrender.
Freedom of expression, protection from abuse, and the right to be heard are not privileges. They are rights guaranteed under national laws and international child-rights frameworks. Girls should not have to earn safety by dressing differently or behaving “better”.
As a young person, I refuse to accept a society that listens more to gossip than to children.
What Must Change — Now
Society must stop asking what a girl did wrong and start asking why someone harmed her.
Families must report abuse instead of negotiating it.
Community leaders must speak out, not cover up.
Institutions must take reports seriously and act swiftly.
Most importantly, adults must believe children the first time they speak.
I Am More Than Society’s Judgment
I am not society’s rumours.
I am not meeting its expectations.
I am not its silence.
I am a young person with a voice, with rights, and with the courage to speak against injustice.
Society will always have opinions.
But opinions must never outweigh a child’s right to safety, dignity and justice.
Until society learns this, girls will continue to suffer — quietly, invisibly, and unfairly.
And that is something we must no longer accept.
